I want to approach each day fresh, and if I'm not feeling it, I need to be honest about what's going on inside me. Tired and unmotivated is more than lack of sleep. If I'm dragging through my days I am missing out. What do I need to freshen things up? A change in perspective? More time for restoration and reflection? Better eating habits? I used to think that adding drama and chaos was just the ticket, but I've learned. That's not it. Drama drains me utterly and leaves me depleted and unmotivated, wilted and worn out. And when I was single, my favorite cureall was always "a relationship." If only I had a boyfriend, then all of my woes would be gone. But that was never true either. If I couldn't be fresh on my own, there was no hope for having any kind of freshness in relationship; it was old patterns revisited and the same old suffocating dysfunction and misery as before: trying to be pleasing, afraid of losing what I thought was love.
If I want to feel freshness in my life I must be freshness. I must be clean and sparkling from the inside out. And what makes me clean and sparkling is excitement, a bit of a racing heart over something, anything... the courage to try what I've always wanted to do but been afraid, a drive and exploration to a new part of town, inviting someone I like to have a cup of coffee, taking a walk where I've not walked before. If I want to feel new, I have to be willing to do new things.
Where is my life flat, and how can I freshen things up?
