Why do we do this? Fundamentally, perhaps, we don't want to admit to ourselves that the responsibility for at least some part of our ailment lies with us. And the action steps required for recovery are our responsibility as well. This is a hard truth. It seems so much easier to blame people and conditions for our problems, and to play the innocent victim, and in the same way, to look outside for the thing that will make it all better: a pill, a seminar, a new relationship, a spa retreat, having another child, moving ourselves geographically... It's the old "if only" game we play. If only this or that, then... all would be well. But would it really?
Changing external things can help our feelings of satisfaction for a while. But if our bottom line way of experiencing life has taken us to a dark place of unhappiness before, we can be sure it will again. The setting doesn't matter. How much we weigh, how much money we make, a new pair of shoes, a new car... none of it matters. It's our mindset that matters, and the integrity of our heart. If we want to feel differently, we have to change from the inside out. We have to be willing to change our perspective and to change the way we live and the way we do things and the choices we make. It's not a quick fix. It can't be quick if it is going to be lasting. It has taken us a lifetime to get where we are and it's a slow process to change. But it's worth it, and we're worth it... one small bit at a time.
I don't fool myself into believing in quick fixes. I am willing to do the hard work to experience change that lasts.