ADORNED WITH GRACE

"We, the compound of Sovereign, Soul, and Sediment!"

~ James Lendall Basford ~

I have come to realize that a clean slate for The New Year is not necessarily a realistic possibility. I must carry my loss and pain with me, not as a weight or a burden, but as a gift. I have been blessed by the experiences of my past, and cannot be free of them as if they had never happened. They did happen. And, while they need not dictate or disable my forward momentum, they do have their place in my heart, and in my soul. They have become a part of me. We have become one, and I go forward larger and more compassionate for all I have been through, and not in any way handicapped by it, or victimized, but grown in depth, and wisdom, and life experience, and the ability to unconditionally love.

The past bejewels my spirit, and gives me sparkle and verve. 

CLEAN AND CLEAR

"Start with a fresh page."

~ Henry Ward Beecher ~

The New Year is as much about letting go as it is welcoming in .

What has passed has passed and it's time to release it.

No need to cling to old identities,

Old stories, or

Old hurts. 

No need to fidget with last week

Or even last year.

It's a New Decade coming.

Let's let it come clean. 

Our attachments pollute the path.

THE ODD BLESSING

"Life is difficult."

~ Scott Peck ~

When we go through something emotionally and physically challenging, 

We crack open like an egg.  

We see and understand others more deeply. 

We are able to feel their pain because we know it. 

We feel it too.

It seems like a tough way to get there, and yet, that's how it is. 

We strain and struggle,

hopeless, scared, and short on faith,

and then we pass to the other side of the acute difficulty 

only to find 

we have been oddly blessed by what we have been through. 

I stay the course and receive the blessing.

PARADOX

"The line of life is a snarl of loops and ends."

~ James Lendall Basford ~

Life is unpredictable and strange.

We look out one way and the train comes from another.

We discover sorrow in joy, joy in sorrow,

Fear in accomplishment,

Death where we don't anticipate it,

Comfort in silence,

And faith in despair.

I know what I need to know when I need to know it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

"Christmas is ... about opening our hearts."

~ JLW Brooks ~

It's time to relax and let go. 

What's done is done.

What's undone is undone,

And the greatest present 

We can give is

Our presence.

I breathe and enjoy the day.

BEING AT PEACE

"Faith is the bird that sings to the dawn while it is still dark."

~ Tagore ~

Except in the most extreme circumstances, being afraid is unproductive. 

It creates anxiety and stress within us and doesn't change the situation.

     Faith might, or present moment awareness, or dancing, or listening... 

Fear is just a story that binds us in cuffs.

I choose freedom! 

THE PATH FORWARD

"There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth."

~ Rumi ~

Give,

Receive.

Live.

Love.

Laugh.

Cry.

Release.

I travel the road. 

HEALING

"Time is on my side."

~ The Rolling Stones ~

In spite of all the feelings that would indicate otherwise, 

the days move us gently forward, 

and we do heal. 

Life floats me on its river.

GUSTS AND LAPPING

"The tides are in our veins.'

~ Robinson Jeffers ~

I am carried by the fluidity of the energies of life. 

They pass through me: 

excitement, 

dread, 

fear, 

joy, 

sadness, 

anger, 

surrender, 

relief... 

They come and go like gusts on a windy day,

or waves lapping the shore. 

And my part is to be a clear channel, 

not to build walls and garrisons, 

but to let whatever comes come, 

and let whatever goes go-

Everything passes. Nothing comes to stay. 

     

SOFT LIGHT

"Christmas is a time when you get homesick- even when you're home."

~ Carol Nelson ~

The energy of Christmas feels both sad and beautiful to me. I can take or leave the jacked up crowds, and holiday fever, and egos around gifts, but the traditional music that has survived the ages mingled with candlelight and the tree, and fires, and movies, and sweets, and people gathering... these, for me, are full of yearning that is not grabby, but soft and sensuous and sorrowful and rich.

The sweet sadness of the season touches my heart. 

INSPIRATION AT OUR FINGERTIPS

"We are healed by our stories."

~ Terry Tempest Williams ~

I love a good movie.

It's human drama,

Emotions,

Aesthetics,

Story,

and 

Heart.

I am grateful for the art of film making. 

THE RAT PACK

"It's just human."

~ Jerry Kopke ~

I have had bad feelings that didn't play out, that were total fantasies in my mind; stories created by my fear, and I have had others that were spot on. 

It's a tricky thing for sure to navigate our gut instincts, our desires, our faith and our fear. 

I do the best I can with what I feel. 

MOLTEN GOLD

"There's always a period of curious fear between the first sweet-smelling breeze and the time when the rain comes cracking down."

~ Don DeLillo ~

Kintsukuroi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with molten gold. This practice highlights the cracks, makes them beautiful, and allows the object to continue to be useful. This acknowledgement and celebration of injury is a far different approach from using transparent glue in the hopes that no one will notice the break, or worse yet, throwing the object in the trash.

I honor my broken pieces.

WINTER VIEWS

"Nature looks dead in winter because her life is gathered into her heart."

~ Hugh Macmillan ~

Things are revealed in the winter landscape. We see houses and views that are otherwise hidden. And maybe it's a little the same with us as well. Much as we celebrate together and create coziness, there is nonetheless a piece of our spirit this time of year which feels barren somehow, and is laid bare.

I am tender with the raw emotions of the season. 

LIFE

 "If life is not an adventure it's a sad venture, and drear at the price."

~ Kenneth Alfred Evelyn Alexander ~

Life is not a passive ride.

It's an active adventure.

We have to step up, and

Keep stepping up,

And involve ourselves with others,

And engage in the ride.

I am awake and engaged. 

EMOTIONAL STEW

"It is, indeed, the season for kindling, not merely the fire of hospitality in the hall, but the genial flame of charity in the heart. What bosom can remain insensible to the call of happiness?"

~ Washington Irving ~

It's been enough sadness lately. Time to turn our attention elsewhere, and look to the moment for peace and joy and glittering lights of the season and the sound of Christmas coming. The sadness will wait for us to return to it, and we do not betray our grief by enjoying the pleasures of this sensational world. Everything has its part and its place, and we are meant to feel it all!

I can be happy, even when I'm sad. 

GRIEF

"I too, have been a mourner."

~ Mary Ann H. Dodd Shutts ~

Community soothes grief.

Grieving together is a different dynamic from grieving alone. 

It's less desperate somehow, and rich with 

the threads of our collective sadness-

The sadness that comes from the human experience-

From trauma, and sickness, and heartache,

And loss. 

Crying in the company of others who are crying is a good thing.

It heals the spirit and connects us to our fellow man. 

MAX

"Death is real and comes without warning."

~ Rigpa Glimpse of the Day ~

Another loss to honor, 

A suicide.

A young life halted,

A mother shocked, and bereft...

Trying to make sense of what can't be made sense of...

How to wrap our hearts around

the end.

I show up for those who mourn. 

BOSS

"Now cracks a noble heart. 

Good night, sweet prince,

May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."

~ William Shakespeare ~

Our beloved German Shepherd, Boss, had to be put down today. 

He is gone to chase soccer balls in the realm of pure light,

And we are left sad, and without him.

My broken heart will mend in time. 

WHAT'S HELPFUL

"The only gift is a portion of thyself."

~ RW Emerson ~

I used to think it was helpful to make suggestions when someone shared a problem with me, but I'm not so sure about that anymore. I think it's ok to say that I had a similar experience (if I did) and here's what helped me, but to have the audacity to say, "You should try THIS," well, that's another thing entirely. Maybe they have tried it, and it didn't work for them, or maybe there's a legitimate reason why they haven't tried it, or maybe it's just not their path.
     Most of the time, what people need is not to be told what to do, or what to take, or how to fix something that they may not even think is broken, but to be listened to, acknowledged, and heard.

I stop jumping the gun in communication with others and really listen from the heart. 

THE DECEMBER EXPERIENCE

"May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope;

The spirit of Christmas which is peace;

The heart of Christmas which is love."

~ Ada V. Hendricks ~

It's a busy time of year, able to topple us if we let it.

Or support us and fill our hearts.

It's our choice.

I pace myself and enjoy the season. 

IN THE COMPANY OF OTHERS

"On this shrunken globe, men can no longer live as strangers."

~ Adlai Stevenson ~

When we keep ourselves to ourselves, we miss the opportunity for love and connection with others.

When we share from the heart, other hearts open, and the result is warmth and goodness.

We are not alone.

What we feel others also feel, or have felt.

And together we do better than alone.

Together we rise.

When we have the courage to share, even just a little, we lift each other up

And together we fill with light.

I am not alone.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

"Nothing is possessed save in appreciation, of which thankfulness is the indispensable ingredient."

~ WJ Cameron ~

I am grateful for YOU, who read this blog!

And changing weather,

And the ocean and sun,

And snow, 

And gentle soaking rain,

And good food,

And the warm Holiday feeling in my heart,

And friends.

I am grateful for the experience of 

Presence in my life,

And love,

And excitement,

And courage,

And laughter.

I am grateful for my body

And good health,

For creativity,

Productivity,

Freedom,

And hard work.

All of it really,

I am grateful for 

the whole ride.

I am grateful. 

THE UNTOUCHABLE CORE

"I am not afraid of storms."

~ Louisa May Alcott ~

Solid, grounded spiritual strength can co-exist with physical and emotional trauma. Even as the winds of our life circumstances beat us about, there is a core within, an anchored kernel, the source of our very existence, that remains unfettered, untouched and unharmed. It carries us always, and especially when we do not feel fully able to carry ourselves.

There is that within me which is unchangeable and vastly secure.

NO MATTER WHAT

"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years."

~ Simone Signoret ~

I am grateful for my marriage. 

We've had our challenges, 

to be sure, 

and continue to have them, 

but we keep on communicating 

and keep on feeling our feelings 

and keep on loving each other 

no matter what.

I celebrate the journey of partnership.

THANKSGIVING WEEK

"Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds."

~ Theodore Roosevelt ~

Thanksgiving week has come again, launching the 2019 Holiday Season, and the gathering of families with their new additions and their loved ones lost, food a plenty, and the range of feelings that come and go and come and go. Let's be grateful for all of it and for our lives as well, and the journey of the ongoing days.

I am grateful to be. 

FLIPPING THE SCRIPT

"You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. 

But if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your soul's own doing."

~ Marie Stopes ~

For those of us who live with hot flashes, perhaps we can learn to experience them as a surge of power and an intimation of the vast reservoir within us that wants expression in the world. And perhaps those who live with us can learn to accept our hot flashes like beacons from a lighthouse leading the lost and wandering spirit home. And for those who have nothing whatsoever to do with hot flashes, take a moment to be grateful for balanced hormones and your ability to be a steady presence in the world.

I create the reality I experience.

TENUOUS BALANCE

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."

~ Confucius ~

Just because something works for me doesn't mean it will work for you and vice versa. We are all uniquely responsive to herbs, to medicines, to therapies, to supplements, and to the energies and messages of our bodies.
      When someone shares an ailment, it seems to be a common trend to flippantly say, "This will fix it," and move on, completely missing the emotional and metaphysical implications of the sharing and the journey.
     Let's heighten our sensitivity and stop thinking we know so much about what other people need. It's job enough to maintain the tenuous balance of ourselves.

I may know less than I think I do. 

WAITING ON HOLD

"It happens by a thousand tiny surrenders of self-respect to self-interest."

~ Robert Brault ~

Dealing with an efficient, high-integrity company is a pleasure, but sadly, not all companies fall into this category. Recently, I ordered some things online, and a few days later got an email saying there was a problem with the coordination of the credit card information and billing address so could I please call to verify.
     When I called, I waited on hold for twenty minutes with the constant haranguing of the techno-voice telling me she appreciated my patience and please hold for the next available representative, who finally picked up, and then couldn't understand why I had gotten the email in the first place because all was actually in order with my address.
     I was reassured that my items would be shipped.
     But no shipping verification email came; instead, another notice that the order could not be processed because of a problem with the address and could I please call. So here I am on hold again, listening to the techno voice, and it's been twenty two minutes and counting. They have lost all my future business at this point, and my patience, and my respect.

I celebrate the efficiency of high-integrity companies. 

PURPOSE

"No one understands that you have given everything. You must give more."

~ Antonio Porchia ~

Some of us are internally driven by the idea of making money, some by the idea of being famous, being in love, achieving a goal, having a child, healing an illness, being at peace. And none of these are wrong and none better than another. Still, it's helpful to understand for ourselves personally what in particular motivates us so we can use it to guide our compass and point our True North.

I know what drives me. 

FARM PROJECTS

"The level path is easy, but it will not bring you to the mountaintop."

~ Dr. Idel Dreimer ~

We've been working on burying drainage pipes in ditches for water runoff from the equipment sheds and barn. It's challenging work shoveling dirt, making sure the grade is running steadily downhill, and negotiating all the uneven ground climbing up and down the ditch banks. My body is sore, and I'm tired, but we mush on to get the job done.

I finish what I start. 

FINANCIAL STRAIN

"There are people who have money and people who are rich."

~ Coco Chanel ~

I am tired of being fearful about money, of feeling anxious and worried, of becoming a kind of crazy person every time I have to pay bills or some unanticipated expense pops up. I have always had what I needed and then some. It's time to take a deep breath and commit to a new way of being relaxed and trusting around all things financial.

I let money come and go and flow with ease. 

THE RIGHT STUFF

"Honest labor dispels melancholy."

~ James Lendall Basford ~

More than once, I have tried to pay bills and do paperwork in a cozy environment to make it more palatable- sitting in front of a fire in a comfy chair, or something of the sort- but I need a desk, and space for organization purposes, and a certain mental intensity to get the job done. It goes better that way, and faster, and I don't have to suffer the frustration of piles of paper slipping constantly off of my lap.

I accept that some approaches are better than others to honor the job at hand.

CHILLIN

"Take-it-easy and Live-long are brothers."

~ German Proverb ~

Life is full of things to do, and sometimes we just have to make the conscious decision to not do them. It's ok every once in a while to do nothing.

I give myself a respite from activity so I can return to life refreshed.

5 RHYTHMS

"Ah! this beautiful world!"

~ HW Longfellow ~

Travel the road of emotion rising,

And falling,

And spinning in twisting, wrenching,

Convoluted turns

Until it is spun out and only

Space and stillness remain

For a pace or two

Before emotions rise again,

And fall,

And twist into stillness.

Life is never-ending energy in motion. 

COMPASSION FOR SELF

"Body tired, brain tired, soul benumbed, heart aching, a worn out human drops into a seat."

~Leigh Norval ~

Emotional exhaustion is different than physical exhaustion, and arguably more debilitating, so when we've experienced heightened feelings and traveled the heart journey of deserts and mountains, it's best to allow for rest. We need time to process and time to integrate and time to just be.

When emotional exhaustion comes on, I go easy on myself.

HOW IT FEELS

"All beings everywhere, suffer; let your heart go out to them in spontaneous and immeasurable compassion."

~ Rigpa Glimpse of the Day ~

We are all wounded in one way or another, and our woundedness connects us.Though we might want to pretend that we are above or beyond all of that, that we have forgiven all that needs to be forgiven and let go of all that needs to be let go, the effect of our pain remains like a stain on our soul. And that's a good thing, because it's our wounds that make us authentically human and our wounds that make us useful to others. We can be compassionate only because we really do know how it feels.

I honor the hurt in myself and others.

SHHHHH

"Silence is the universal refuge."

~ Henry David Thoreau ~

We live in a fast, noisy, busy world, 

so it's key really, 

every so often, 

to shut off the sound and sit or walk or just be in silence. 

And, though our minds may rattle on, 

if we trust the quiet,

 and breathe deeply into it, 

it will steady us,  

and restore us to balance 

and clear vision, 

and wisdom,

and peace.

I make time to be quiet.

STRAIGHT TO THE POINT

"Eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."

~ Hans Hofmann ~

I went to another funeral for my Aunt Mary that was completely different from the one for my Cousin Nat. Hers was simple and straight to the point, just the way she wanted it. Six of us stood by the graveside while the coffin was buried. We played a bagpipe version of Amazing Grace on a cell phone, it was sunny with a cool fall breeze, and we stood around talking gently while the cemetery guys systematically filled the hole, and replaced the sod.
     It was soothing in a way, and peaceful, and natural, and beautiful. No fanfare, no service, just a few loved ones present for the closure of a life.

Simplicity is peaceful. 

UNDER THE WEATHER

"Every disease is a physician"

~ Irish proverb ~

It's difficult to see the ones we love suffer physically. To have them be weak and not feel well inspires compassion and also frustration, empathy, and a bit of irritation as well, perhaps from our fear that they will never be well again. And as with all difficult things, it's an opportunity to practice spiritual principles, but that doesn't make it any more palatable. No matter how I come at it, I find it leaves a taste of discomfort in the soul.

I admit and accept the challenge of sickness. 

PRESENCE AS A LIFE SKILL

"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post."

~ L. Thomas Holdcroft ~

I believe the most important, most helpful, most evolved life skill we can learn is how to be present; how to be vigorously aware of everything around us, and be tuned-in to our inner energy, and instantaneously and appropriately responsive to anything new that arises.

Presence gives us spaciousness.

Presence gives us ease.

Presence gives us vitality and appreciation and a sense of well-being and the feeling of love.

And presence gives us that thing we long for

that we often cannot name.

Presence gives us peace.

I practice the art of presence.

PS I was interviewed on this topic, and you can watch that interview, along with many other inspired interviews here. Just scroll down to find my name. 

THE UNKNOWN

"We may never pass this way again."

~ Seals and Crofts ~

We think we know what's coming, and if we ever get a little too comfortable with that idea, life has a way of jolting us back into the mystery of unexpected challenge and the unknown.

I never know what's around the corner so I take full advantage of whatever is happening now. 

THE DOMAIN OF GOD

"Healing from grief is allowing the courage and purpose within you and the love someone else left you, to merge and create a new sense of being."

~ Terri Guillemets ~

As individual as it may seem, grief is universal. 

We all know it. 

We all feel it. 

It's part of being human and impermanence. 

We are born to die and love to lose what we love. 

And heart-wrenching as this may be, it's not all bad. 

It is our deep grief that grows compassion in us, 

and compassion 

is the domain of God 

and Grace 

and the root of all 

that is most beautiful in life. 

My grief is as universal as it is personal.

I am not alone. 

HALLOWEEN AGAIN

"There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch."

~ Robert Brault ~

It's Halloween again.

Another year of bats and witches and costumes and Trick or Treat.

The tradition of it is glorious, and

The cuteness of little kids supreme. 

I celebrate this day!

THE PRICE OF FREEDOM

"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it."

~ Thomas Paine ~

We carry around energy from the past without even realizing we are carrying it, and then wonder why we feel so weighted down. All the ways we've repressed emotions, the silences we've kept when we would have done better to speak up, having pretended to be ok with things when we weren't really ok with them- this is the build up- like plaque on our teeth- and every so often we need to get at it and break it up so we can live free. 

I am willing to see what I might prefer not to see. 

SPIRIT IN THE ROOM

"It is as well for cheerfulness as for warmth and dryness."

~ HD Thoreau ~

A fire in a fireplace is pure deliciousness.

It satisfies the senses,

Evokes well-being,

Feels cozy

And brings spirit into the room.

A crackling hearth fire soothes my soul.

BURIAL

"A human life is a story told by God."

~ Hans Christian Anderson ~

My Cousin Nat was buried last Friday, and he went out in high style.

A Dixieland Jazz band playing slow, soulful music led a horse drawn cart with his coffin up the long farm driveway to the front porch.

A mix of prayers and psalms and songs, all chosen by him in his lifetime, were his final farewell.

And then the band led the cart and my Cousin Nat down the driveway for the last time, 

to the family graveyard three miles distant, 

where a bagpiper on a hillside called him home.

Back at the farm, on the front porch, the band continued to play late into the night, 

and it was hard to walk away. 

I started to leave, and then sat in my car with the windows down just listening to the music- 

listening with my whole body and my whole heart- 

feeling nostalgic, feeling grateful, and feeling that sweet sadness I have come to know- 

for the ending of something that we have once held dear, 

and the sorrow of that loss. 

I take nothing for granted. 

A FEW MINUTES NO MORE

"Well done is better than well said."

~ Ben Franklin ~

I am always on time when it really matters, but I have gotten a bit sloppy when my appointments don't feel so obviously critical, and I'm tired of being a few minutes (5...10?) late. It lacks respect and integrity and affects the way I feel about myself as well. So let this be my testimony and intention: no more. Barring an act of God, I will arrange my schedule in such a way as to be consistently prompt.

I make it a priority to be on time. 

SOCIAL MEDIA

"I have an almost religious zeal- not for technology per se, but for the Internet which is for me the nervous system of mother earth, which I see as a living creature, linking up."

~ Dan Millman ~

Some people like to gripe about Facebook like they gripe about the weather, and it seems pretty normal to feel a certain condescension for posts of dinner plates full of food. And yet, if we have a broad spectrum of friends, Facebook is also a source for amazing photographs of people and places, inspiring videos, enlightening information, and updates on growing children and grandchildren and weddings and deaths and points of true interest. So let's remember to express some appreciation for Facebook as well; for all the wonderful ways it expands and enriches our lives.

I quit complaining and appreciate Facebook. 

FAR AND NEAR

"A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye."

~ Samuel Grafton ~

The awe inspiring effect of fall leaves is best captured from a distance. As we approach a brilliantly bright tree and stand beneath it, we observe that the leaves up close don't feel at all the same. They are duller somehow. And maybe our life and other people's lives are like that also- glittering and luminescent - but only from afar.

I understand that a shift in perspective can change the whole picture. 

TAKING A BREATH

"You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by."

~ JM Barrie ~

Life is busy. Let us deeply enjoy and appreciate the mornings, the afternoons, and the days, if we have any, that are free from deadlines and appointments.

I savor my unscheduled time. 

TOO MUCH CONCERN

"Give to every human being every right that you claim for yourself."

~ Robert Ingersoll ~

Small children, old people, the infirm- 

we must afford them their dignity and not spill our concern all over them like a drowning pool; 

for not one of us wants to be molly-coddled, 

or treated like we are helpless or pitiable, 

even though we may in fact be. 

I grant special needs individuals the dignity and respect they deserve.

FICKLE WEATHER

"Autumn is the season of change."

~ Taoist Proverb ~

Adjusting our body temperatures this time of year can be tricky. 

It's cold, then warm, then cold again. 

The sun and the wind battle for power and each has their winning moment. 

We heat up. 

We cool down. 

We feel freezing, and then realize it's not so cold as we think.

Fresh air through the windows is glorious,

And yet, we might need to turn on the heat.

We might want to light a fire.

And then we feel too hot.

It's a time of transition.

Everything is in flux.

And so, there's nothing to do but go with it 

And flow with it,

And wear layers,

And enjoy the ride.

I love the fall!

CONFESSION

"It's emotion and love, passion and compassion. 
Heart, heart, heart, heart, it's the center of everything."

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger ~

Open hearted, courageous conversation will clear whatever is clogged in a relationship. 

It clears blame and sorrow and hurt feelings and victimization and anger and misunderstanding.

It clears made up stories.

It clears fear of the future and leftover emotion from the past.

It clears us for compassion.

It clears us for connection.

And it clears the path back to love.

I am willing to share my inner self with another to free us both.

SERIOUS BUSINESS

"I have looked through the list of illnesses, and did not find cares or sad thoughts mentioned among them. That is a mistake, surely."

~ Georg Christoph Lichtenberg ~

We do ourselves a great dis-service by taking ourselves and our life circumstances too seriously. To lose our sense of humor and the lightness of our being is cumbersome and weighty, and our interactions with others become unforgiving and intense.
     Let's keep things easy and breezy instead, and drop the burden of whatever it is we've picked up as soon as we realize we have it in our grip.

I let go of mental and emotional heaviness and enjoy my life.

HIGHS AND LOWS

"Only in quiet waters things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world."

~ Hans Margolius ~

Any kind of heightened emotional expenditure, whether for pleasure or challenge, takes its toll. We rally through with genuine laughter or nervous tension and at the end are wiped out and need recovery time.
     There may be a sense that anything enjoyable should rejuvenate us, and perhaps it does, but the immediate aftermath does seem to require rest and retreat, just like emotional ordeals do. It's a process to integrate whatever has happened and all the ways it may have rocked us, or lifted us, or swung us around.

Life requires that we take time to integrate emotionally energetic experiences. 

THE SUBTLETY OF THE SEASON

"I am struck by the simplicity of light..."

~ HD Thoreau ~

We look for fall color to be dramatic and impress us strongly with its glory and brilliance; and yet, so much of autumn beauty is subtle. Yellow and rusty colored grasses, gently falling leaves and leaves on the ground already fallen, the shorter days, the feel of the wind; wood smoke, honking geese, red weed stalks, bits of colored dripping vines, crisp mornings and cool evenings, the angle of the light-all these subtleties and others like them are as satisfying in their own way as the trees that shiver us with their glorious, showstopping luminescence.

I pay attention to experience the fall. 

GRUFF

"Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that."

~ Micheal Leunig ~

Gruff's Birthday is this Sunday, and it's an honor and a privilege to celebrate with him! He's a fierce-hearted man with a gentle nature, equally suited to wield a chainsaw and nurture a baby chick. He's the best of friends, the master of problem solving, and a true Renaissance man.
     His humor, his integrity, his talent, and his great capacity for love make him a partner extraordinaire, and I am blessed and grateful to share life with him, and conversation, and laughter, and challenge, and adventure, and vision, and silliness, and whatever the day serves up!

I pause to celebrate the one I love.  

THE SLOW PROCESS

"Trust is the mother of deceit."

~ English Proverb ~

Sometimes trust is instantaneous and feels immediately secure, and other times it builds slowly over time by degree. And perhaps, the second kind is more reliable in the end, for how often have our spontaneous trusting instincts been mistaken?

I learn to trust one little bit at a time. 

RELIEF

"The quality of mercy is not strained; it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath."

~ William Shakespeare ~

Rain, after a long period of drought, is a deep and sacred blessing for the earth and all who live upon it; and rain that is steady and gentle and soaking is a delicious gift beyond measure.

I welcome the nurturing rain!

THE GREAT TRANSPORTER

"Life is the game that must be played."

~ Edwin Arlington Robinson ~

What matters most changes as we evolve, at least, it does for me.

I used to run from things I now seek.

I used to struggle with things that I have now mastered.

I used to think family was a bit inconvenient at best, and now it feeds my soul.

Change is the rule, so if you don't like where you are, stick around.

Life is the great transporter

And carries us from here to somewhere else.

I recognize and appreciate my changing taste. 

1,2,3 GO!

"Courage is a love affair with the unknown."

~ Osho ~

Sometimes we just have to say yes- to do it- in spite of our resistance, our fear, and all the different ways our desire to not do it might manifest. We can trust that once we have committed, then the activity itself will support our next move, and our next one, and break us out of inertia and into flow and rhythm, and the unexpected joy of taking on something we weren't going to do at all.

I am willing to take a risk to experience something new. 

BONUS BLOG: LIFE SKILLS CURRICULUM IDEA

"An educational system isn't worth a great deal if it teaches young people how to make a living, but doesn't teach them how to make a life."

~ Author Unknown ~

I deeply believe in the need for and value of life skills education in the classroom. Learning how to set boundaries, manage difficult emotions, be present, form good habits- these are arguably as important as math and history, and possibly even more so. In an effort to further this idea and move it into the realm of reality, I agreed to participate in an interview series with Laura Durance, founder of The Up Inc, a nonprofit organization committed to changing education in this way.

     The series is not just for students, however. It's for all of us! 

If you're curious to know more, want to do your part to further life skills education in the classroom, and/or want to participate/listen to one or all of the interviews, click HERE.

Let's teach our kids to live well!

I can make a difference in the world. 

LIFE

"Life is good."

 

Life is unpredictable:

Sometimes chaotic,

Sometimes electric,

and sometimes serene.

But whatever life may be

in any given moment

the underlying current is

grounded, and centered,

and rooted,

and good.

I may not always feel grounded, but I am.

My roots run deep.

THE ERROR OF ASSUMPTION

"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment."

~ Rumi ~

It's the obvious thing to do to assume that others, especially others that we know and respect, are just like us in terms of what they need, what's healing, what feels good, what hurts, and what helps. We assume that our experience of the world is also their experience, that our indignation is also their indignation, and that our joy is their joy.
     And yet, that's simply not the way it is. When we sincerely listen to others for understanding in conversion, we discover a broader view, their true perspective, and the exciting terrain of uncommon ground.

I don't pretend to know what others like and don't like and want and don't want. I let them show me and tell me and trust them when they do. 

NO NEED FOR GUILT

"I stifle my heart, and awaken in the night to hear it moaning."

~ Muriel Strode ~

We don't have to feel guilty. 

That's something we take on, or don't. 

It's our choice. 

Life can be so much more straightforward than we let it be. 

If we screw up, we can make it right. 

We don't have to trail around a lot of unfinished business. 

We can finish it, and move on.

I keep my relationships clear of emotional debris.

EVER FRESH

"Every hour proves to us that change and decay are written upon all things... As surely will the proudest monuments of human labor pass away, as the morning mist from among the hills."

~ Charles Lanman ~

Although I live by repetitive routines, my experience of them each day is new, because I am new- made fresh by sleep and learning and evolution and letting go. As I change, so do the things I notice, and the sensations I feel. And thank God for that. I am ever curious, and never bored.

From one moment to the next, I am never the same.

THE FULL MONTY

"Have a day that matters.

Have a day that counts."

~ Shirley McLean~

To be happy maybe isn't really the best goal.

Happiness is fleeting, like a hummingbird at the feeder.

It comes- ah- beautiful- light, gracious, and then-

Gone.

And here's a grip of fear, 

A rise of fury,

A storm of sadness,

Righteousness,

Indignation,

And then happiness alights again...

It's the whole realm that comes and goes.

We're alive so we feel things.

And that's just the way it is.

So maybe the question isn't really, "Are you happy?

Maybe the better question is, "How alive do you feel?"

Emotions move through me, and around me, and in me. 

They circle and bend and flip.

TYPOS

"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing."

~ John Powell ~

The last two blog posts have had typos in them, which are now corrected, but I sent them out to the world without taking the care I usually do to proofread for error. 

The message?

Slow down. 

Demonstrate integrity.

Care.

I take the time I need to take to do things right. 

WHAT GOES UP

"Prejudices are the chains formed by ignorance to keep men apart."

~ Countess of Blessington ~

We are so quick to judge others, even without knowing anything at all about them or what they've been through. We think we know.
     Each of us is ever evolving and forever new, and unpredictable, and capable of great wisdom and unexpected insight and kindness and their opposite. It depends on the day, the weather, our mood, and our state of consciousness. Consequently, acceptance of whatever may show up is helpful when dealing with people, and compassion, and the honest appreciation that whatever negative judgment we dole out could just as easily be said about us.

Being human means we're all changeable and ever fresh. 

REMEMBERING AND FORGETTING

"Every man's memory is his private literature."

~ Aldous Huxley ~

Sometimes there are things that we've forgotten that we might do better to remember, and sometimes there are things we remember that we might do better to forget. Life is fluid, memories are like dreams, and it's our choice what we hold on to and what we let go.

I have power and choice in this moment. That is where power and choice live. 

THE LIGHT

"Let us fly from the Past on the wings of Faith."

~ James Lendall Basford ~

The past operates on us subconsciously through old survival tactics and emotionally charged triggers. We can free ourselves by looking back and acknowledging how we learned to cope. Our understanding can free us because then we can figure what needs to be forgiven and start anew with the light of consciousness on our side.

I get over the past by objectively acknowledging what actually happened. 

THE GRACE OF AGING

"Go securely, do not delay; a harbor opens where you feared a shipwreck."

~ Francesco Petrarca ~

I am grateful to be older than I once was 

and not so reckless. 

A certain grace comes as we age 

and our appreciation for the fragility of our life 

and our being 

and all life 

and all beings 

grows.

I take nothing for granted. 

THE WHOLE SCALE

"Without music life would be a mistake."

~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

Anger is as natural to our being human as happiness is, yet we villainize it as bad, wrong, scary, out-of-control, and inappropriate. Learning to acknowledge, feel, and express our anger is healthy and ok.
     Anytime that we pretend we don't feel something that is human to feel- anger, fear, sadness, joy- we shrink our lives and freeze our vitality. Wanting to be happy all the time is like playing music with one chord. We need the whole scale to fully experience the song.

I welcome all the emotions of my life. 

THOSE WHO CAN'T

"How good water is when you're really thirsty, how it glitters and gurgles! How alive it is!"

~ GK Chesterson ~

In the process of pursuing the attention of people who are emotionally unavailable to us, 

we miss the goodness and pleasure of connection with those who are.

I stop trying to fill my cup at empty wells and go where the water is. 

FALSE PROTECTION

"No risk, no reward."

~ Christy Raedeke ~

In an effort to protect our hearts, we inadvertently shut them down. Being open to life and vulnerable to the whole experience, other people included, is a risk to be sure, but well worth it. The reward is connection, authentic self-expression, and love.

I open my heart. 

RIGHT AND WRONG

"Exaggeration is to paint a snake and add legs."

~ Proverb ~

There's a kind of thrill in knowing we were right about something, even if it's bad news for someone else. It bolsters our spirits. "I KNEW it," we repeat over and over to anyone who will listen as if that makes us extra important.
     If we're honest though, there are just as many things we're wrong about, if not more. And we overplay them too as if we can't believe it.
     We might do better to simply acknowledge quietly to ourselves that sometimes we're right and sometimes we're wrong, and be able to take them both equally and gracefully in stride.

I catch myself exaggerating and get back to being right sized. 

ROLLING EMOTION

"One's suffering disappears when one lets oneself go, when one yields- even to sadness."

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~

We are emotional beings and the waves of our feelings roll through us morning to midnight.

And our job is not to bypass them or hold them in check,

But to feel them;

To let them be as they are and move through us

however they move.

Feelings ebb and flow within me like the tide.

NO MORE BITTERNESS

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."

~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~

I noticed wrinkle lines around my mouth the other day from setting my face in a determined kind of resistance to life, and then I saw something online that said those lines were an indication of bitterness, and, not wanting that, I've been consciously setting my lips in a gentle kind of smile, and it's amazing how it changes the way my eyes feel, and my face feels, and my heart.

A smile on the lips soothes the soul. 

FALSE REALITY

"The mind is the most capricious of insects."

~ Virginia Wolf ~

We truly do create a world with our thoughts, and every so often, we are given a glimpse behind the curtain and become able to see what's really there, and when we do, it's baffling, especially if we have felt strongly in a certain direction for many years and based our behavior all those years on our false belief.  There's freedom in finally seeing, and yet, a new question arises. If we have been wrong about that one thing, what else might there be?

As certain as I may feel, I remain open to new ideas. 

BEING HUMAN

"Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think."

~ L.M. Montgomery ~

I love sitting on a bench and watching people walk by.

We are all so different and all so much the same-

Beautiful, awkward, self-conscious, vulnerable.

I love being a part of the humanity we share.

We are one.

HERITAGE

"To tell the story of one family is to tell what is essential in the story of all... "

~ Moncure D. Conway ~

I am grateful for the female lineage from which I am descended. 

Women of generosity and grace are my heritage.

And women of creativity and skill.

I sometimes forget the blood from which I come

And when I remember

It makes me stand a little taller,

Feel a little braver,

And own the turf on which I stand.

I am proud of my bloodline.  

THE TANGLES OF OUR STUFF

"Most of us are inclined to keep too many old and useless things in our houses and in our minds as well."

~ Emily Tolman ~

Having the physical aspect of our lives in some kind of order is good for the soul. Disorganization, stockpiles of mixed up junk, messy counters, mounds of unfolded clothes: these things tangle us up on a subconscious level and close down possibility and spaciousness within.

I keep my physical environment clean and clear.

FREE FROM MENTAL NOISE

"Be the change you want to see."

~Gandhi ~

We all want to look good, to be liked, to be listened to, and to be loved. We want to feel like we matter and that there are others who care. And there may be a voice in our heads that says we don't deserve it and we won't get it, and is self-conscious and unsure.
     But when we are free from this internal mental noise we can readily experience all the goodness of love and connection. All we have to do is give it to others and then we will have it for ourselves.

I receive what I offer. 

KNOWING

"To the question of your life, you are the only answer."

~ Jo Coudert ~

Knowing what to do often comes as an uninvited thought; 

and it's not that we've suddenly "figured it out,"

 but that out of nowhere 

we now know. 

Clear sight is fickle and comes and goes as it pleases.

FISH ON THE LINE

"You are a beautiful soul hidden by the trench coat of the ego."

~ Mike Dolan ~

When our ego gets hooked, we're in for a ride. It may be a dark ride, or a grandiose one with visions of greatness and grandeur. What it will not be is simple and clear, and simple and clear is where authentic creativity lives.
     So as soon as we are able to quiet the demands of our ego, the truth will speak and we will find our peace, and until then, we are like a fish on a line.

I beware the contortions of my ego when it wants to take the lead. 

GRUFF

"We got this solid love."

~ Joni Mitchell ~

September 3rd is our 8 year wedding anniversary, and our love is deep still,
like a still lake. 

We are best friends, and courageous adventurers.

We are silly together, and serious together.

We work hard.

We eat well.

We talk honestly every day, and share the hard stuff,

As well as the fun stuff.

We are solid and strong,

as individuals,

And as a couple. 

I never thought it could happen to me,

But here we are,

And I am forever grateful for 

My Gruff.

I love my husband. 

WHAT WE WANT

"Hear blessings dropping their blossoms around you."

~ Rumi ~

Sometimes we have to pay money to get what we want, 

sometimes it just comes to us, 

and sometimes we stumble upon it like an old friend, and are immediately familiar. 

Whether I orchestrate it or not, generally speaking, I seem to get what I want, 

and most definitely everything I need.

TIME

"Wrinkles indicate where the smiles have been."

~ Mark Twain ~

Old skin.

New wrinkles.

Life happens and it

leaves its trail

on our faces.

Like a pair of shoes, my body shows its wear. 

LOVING WHAT IS

"Resistance is futile."

~ Star Trek ~

It amazes me how quickly and unconsciously I enter a state of resistance- to circumstances, to people, to the way I feel. And then I'm tense and unhappy and I know not why, until I look, and see that I want things to be other than they are.
     If I want to experience life satisfaction, I have to deal with reality exactly as it is.

I accept the things I cannot change. 

HOW DOES IT MAKE US FEEL?

"Trust your hunches."

~ Joyce Brothers ~

If the idea of something excites us, scares us, or drags us down, that's a pretty good indicator. 

Maybe we should pay attention.

I listen to the calling of my soul.

BUILDING NESTS

"Hummingbird nests are wonders of beauty, delicacy, and architecture- plant down and dried flower petals held together with silvery spider's web, exquisitely decorated with greyish-white lichens."

~ Royal Dixon ~

When a bird builds a nest, it flies out into the broad world to gather twigs and string, and whatever it can find to make its home secure and cozy; and then there's an art to putting it all together. No two nests are the same. And isn't it like that for us as well?

I gather things that catch my eye and bring them home. 

WHAT GOES AROUND

"Take care of yourself so you can take care of others."
~ Dad ~~

Nothing I do is for myself only.

When I serve my spirit

I make it possible

for my spirit

to serve the world.

I am part of something bigger than the limits of my skin.

PART OF THE WHOLE

"I nod to a passing stranger, and the stranger nods back, and two humans go off,  feeling a little less anonymous."

~ Robert Brault 

Anytime we feel lonely we can reach out to others- online, in person, through meetup, over the phone. Our options are endless. We can step into life whenever we need to, whenever we're ready, and whenever unwanted feelings of isolation exert their pull.

I am not alone. 

EFFERVESCENCE

"Pleasure is spread through the earth."

~ William Wordsworth ~

Some mornings we wake up and the day dawns bright. 

Our energy is effervescent and it feels just right to be who we are. 

These are good days. 

Not that the others aren't also, 

in their way, 

but there's something particularly glorious 

about those hours

in particular

when our spirit is filled with light.

I gratefully experience joy!

TOUCH BUTTONS

"Easy does it."

~ Bill Wilson ~

We have a new dryer with touch buttons, and I couldn't get it to work at first because I was pushing too hard. It's very sensitive, and responds readily to a light touch. And so, it made me wonder, where else in my life might I be pushing too hard?

Sometimes strength is called for and sometimes it's not. 

THE EBB AND FLOW

"It takes a long time to grow an old friend."

~ John Leonard ~

Some things maintain their importance or become more important to us over time, 

and others do not. 

And perhaps the same could be said about people in our lives as well. 

Many relationships have a shelf life just like pop songs or objects d'art. 

My affection comes and goes. 

STILLNESS

"When the mind is quiet the soul will speak."

~ Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati ~

I tend to be active and busy and productive. The "go mode" is my most common gear, and I'm quite sure I'm not alone in that.  So when moments of complete surrender to stillness come, I feel profound gratitude for them. What a blessing to be internally quiet and peaceful,  without any kind of agenda or guilt.

I am nurtured by moments of peace. 

TRIAL AND ERROR

"It has done me good to be somewhat parched by the heat and drenched by the rain of life."

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~

Things evolve in life by trial and error. 

There is no straight path to wherever it is that we're going.

We push off, hit an obstacle,

And are re-directed

Again

and

Again.

And we never end up arriving anywhere

Unless it's the grave.

Living life is 

One thing

After 

Another thing

After

Another.

I take my challenges in stride and accept them as part of the evolutionary journey.

ROUND AND ROUND

"O God, I pray that not too much of calm be mine, but one day let the maddened rush of waters break against my soul."

~ Muriel Strode ~

I like things in order: folded laundry, a clean desk, a clean sink, beds made, floors swept; but that's only one energy of life. Another is food and glasses spread all over the table for a family meal, messy beds from naps and lovemaking, mud from outdoor adventures, dog hair from the dog, bills unopened in envelopes in a mail pile, and pillows on the sofa all this way and that from movie watching. And if I'm honest, I like these things too. The one thing makes no sense and gives no pleasure without the other.

I honor and celebrate the full cycles of life. 

MAKING FRIENDS

"A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails."

~ Donna Roberts ~

I've been caught in the "point-of-arrival" trap, wanting to get to the time and the place where our new house feels like a comfortable old shoe. Longing after the future like that though, I am missing the glory of the empty, evolving, echoing space- half done, and rich with possibility. 

    I can settle in to each moment. I don't have to wait until everything is just where and how we want it. The newness of the house and it's features and characteristics and shifting light is exciting, and curious and much like the beginning of a solid friendship. It takes time, and commitment, and multiple encounters, and a willingness to share it all.

I show up for the process. 

OUR SHIFTING EFFECTIVENESS

"Why do I sometimes let my emotions get the better of me? 

For the same reason I let it rain last Tuesday."

~ Robert Brault ~

Sometimes the best we can is awesome, and sometimes it's not so much.

Our effectiveness shifts like the wind.

Some decisions are spot on, 

and some only seem that way, 

until later

When we wonder what we were thinking.

Everything has its place in the current of life. 

I do what I can with what I have and save room in the day for forgiveness.

ASKING FOR HELP

"Many hands make light work."

~ John Heywood ~

We hesitate to ask for help, and yet, there is a magical kind of spiritual principle that diminishes our obstacle, whatever it may be, when we invite others to face it with us. Then they too become invested in our getting wherever we're going, and our journey is seriously empowered by the team effort, which is a far happier situation, seems to me, than struggling along all on our own.

I engage with others, and graciously accept their help as I travel the difficult road. 

WHICH IS WHICH

"Happiness is an occasional brief glance into how simple it all can be,"

~ Robert Brault ~

Some things turn out to be far more complicated than initially anticipated, and some things turn out to be far simpler. And understanding which is which is a key distinction. More often than not we confuse one for the other.

I keep the simple things simple.

FLOWERS!

"Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty outvalues all the utilities of the world."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ 

I love flowers!

They brighten the world,

and my spirit,

and any and every space they occupy.

I notice and appreciate all the flowers of the world... including weeds! 

CLOUDED IN

"Intuition is a spiritual faculty and does not explain, but simply points the way."

~ Florence Scovel Shinn ~

We doubt ourselves to our own detriment.

We are clear, and then second guess, and second guess again.

We muddy the waters of our simple vision

Until we are so murky that we have no vision at all.

And it takes work to find the path forward,

And we are the ones who shrouded the road.

I trust my God given gifts. 

THE NUDGE

"Dare to be true."

~ George Herbert ~

There are times when it may not be a bad thing that we can't let something go. Perhaps it sticks with us because we need to look honestly at a situation in our life we've been trying to ignore, or it may be just the nudge we need to see a Doctor. Honesty gives us power, because when we're dealing with reality, we have the ability to affect change.

When I can't let something go, I take a closer look. 

STOPPED IN OUR TRACKS

"Certainly! It might have been so; only it isn't."

~ Martin H. Fischer ~

We have limits, and so does life. 

Accepting them can be frustrating, and sometimes, it's a relief. 

But whether we accept them or not, eventually, they will stop us in our tracks.

And we will have to stay stopped for a bit- 

even if everything isn't finished- 

because the limit has been met- 

the day's allowance of energy, or time, or money has been spent.

And the coffer has to fill up again, and likely, so do we.

I accept my limitations.